Goodness, money woes are depressing. The subjects of suicide and bankruptcy keep coming up in discussions between my husband and I. This mostly because we have a house we are readying for sale in perhaps the worst market ever. He’s intent on not losing money in the transaction; I’m intent on not losing any more money, and getting out as quickly and painlessly as possible (which doesn’t mean painlessly at all). It totally totally sucks to think that all of our savings could go away in an instant… or perhaps it has already gone away as our once-beloved home has dropped in value before our eyes. Poof!

And then, we are bringing a baby (and attendant expenses) into all this. What are we, crazy? Then, I keep reminding myself that it is our family, and the people we love, that are the things of real importance in life. I have to keep telling myself this, to keep from swimming into the vortex. We are better off than lots of people, I keep repeating internally. The money we’d be losing is money a lot of people don’t have in the first place, right?

Sorry to spew such anxiety and woe in public. I just had a really awful IM conversation with my hubby about our situation — specifically, about selling the house (he’d just talked to our real estate agent) — and I’m on a downward curve on my emotional roller coaster. Just really had to get it out there because I don’t really have anyone with whom to share worries of such a serious nature. And that’s sad, too, I guess. Sigh.

—

P.S. and now I am having contractions. Stress, do you think?

My copy of “The Amazing Adventures of DietGirl” — the book — is here. Yippee! I just want to check out for a few days until I’m finished devouring it! Yummy!

One of the blogs I read for work has an interesting post about losing 20 lbs over the past year and what he’s learned. I’ve got a lot more than 20 lbs to lose, of course, but obviously the same lessons apply. I wonder how he’ll do over the next year…

Of everything I’ve read about this study, PastaQueen’s post today makes the most sense to me. No, fat isn’t contagious, but the ways of thinking (and behaving) that make you fat probably are. There was a time in my life, in college, when I rented a house with two overweight roommates (and a ferret, but that’s another story all together…).

Likely because we shared the same way of thinking, we thought nothing of ordering 2 large pizzas for the three of us, and polishing them off in one sitting. At the height of it all, I remember having a great fondness for ordering “bread sticks” — i.e. a sauceless pizza cut into strips — which we dipped into ranch dressing. (Now, the image evokes in me equal parts of fondness and nausea.)

So, I’m not looking to be judged for how I look or what I eat, and I certainly don’t want people avoiding me because I’m fat, but if I can put myself into situations where more “normal” thinking prevails, that will probably help me avoid fat-perpetuating behaviors. To be in an environment where my delicious fresh-tomato salad inspires delight, rather than dismissal. That’s the kind of world I need to create and inhabit. (Not only for me. For my kid, too. And other “fat” people are welcome.)

Why is it that, when I’m tired, I eat like crazy, as if the additional food will give me more energy when, in fact, it just weighs me down (in more ways than one). Makes sense that step 1 in any health plan — and I always make this step 1, even though I seldom get to step 2 — should be to make sure you get enough sleep.

Anyway, we made it back from BlogHer, where I met a whole bunch of amazing women. Links to follow, when I’m not so tired, and when I’m not supposed to be working

Being around BlogHer, I’ve been connecting with folks I (a) have only met through their blogs or (b) haven’t seen in a long time or (c) am meeting for the first time, and I look forward to reading their blogs. It’s been utterly fantastic, and it’s reminded me of something I’ve been seriously missing in my life lately — female friends!

I recently got a visit from a friend who, at one point in our twenties, I spoke with every day and saw several times a week, at least. Later, even though we moved to separate cities, we still talked at least once a week, maybe for hours. That basically ended, slowly, when I started getting serious with the Scottish hearthrob who became my husband. And then my world shrunk even more when I moved across the country, away from friends it had taken me 5 years or so to develop relationships with. At the time, I was pregnant, so a tried-and-true relationship-building technique — “hey, let’s go out for a drink after work” — was sort of out of the question. Then, I had a newborn baby, and now I have a 2-year-old I’m basically raising on my own. Meanwhile, we are planning to move across the country, so it seems pointless to forge relationships with people I’ll soon end up leaving.

All this to say, my situation hasn’t been conducive to meeting people and building relationships, but… I need them. Desperately. Especially at the moment, where my best friend (my husband), isn’t so especially available. What am I going to do about it? Blog more, probably, and be more involved in the blogosphere. Reach out more to my local friends — yes, I do have some, despite the obstacles. How exciting. And how wonderful to be here and now, with all of these great potential blog friends.