Here I am… showered, vitamins taken, teeth brushed and face moisturized. I’m even wearing clean clothes. Finally, I found some “me” time to do the very basics.

Next steps: find more “me” time every day to improve my fitness and eat healthfully. That’s what it’s all about, after all. It’s about taking care of myself instead of spending all my time on kid or baby or husband duty, and putting myself last. The past couple of weeks, especially when my aunt was here visiting, I got some glimpses of what it would be like to tend to my own needs again.

This seems simple, but one day I ran into a friend when we were both dropping off our kids at day care. I strolled along with her as she walked over to her gym, and she even gave me a tour. There we were, two women, walking along together, no kids in tow (baby was with my aunt at home). We could set a brisk pace. We could jaywalk. We could worry about no one other than ourselves. And then there was the gym. It was small, but nice, and close by. Hmm… I’d not considered it in my earlier digging (probably because I’d been thinking a lot about the rest of the family), but I found it had definite possibilities, and its proximity to the apartment is a big plus. After saying farewell, I popped over to my favorite bakery and picked up a couple of muffins for myself and my aunt.

Then, another time, my aunt and I were walking home from Target and stopped off to have lunch in this cute little restaurant in my neighborhood. The baby (picture here) did us the favor of sleeping the entire time. So, we ordered two lunches, split them both in half, and each got a taste of both. One came with a free half-pint of a draft beer, so I picked a local brew, which was as tasty as I remembered. We sat in this small restaurant, with wooden booths, exposed brick walls and gorgeous decorative light fixtures… and I felt like myself. I love trying new restaurants and this was just classic Pamela. Oh, how these small moments have helped me recapture who I am and what I want my life to be like.

For those of you without kids, it might be hard to imagine how these seemingly mundane interludes meant so much to me. With being pregnant, and now having my breasts given over to producing milk for the baby — not to mention the constant demands of the now-3-year-old — there just is so little time for me to indulge myself in my hobbies and interests. (Notice how long I go between blog posts.) However, I’ll soon be getting back to work — we’ve hired a nanny to take care of the kids when I return — and life will be getting back to “normal.” In there, somewhere, I need to keep these interludes coming. Time on the treadmill or out for a walk. Manicures and pedicures. New clothes. A night out with a friend. I can’t wait….

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P.S. I’m down to around 223 at last weigh-in (after eating and fully clothed), which is about 10 lbs above my pre-pregnancy weight. Haven’t made much of a special effort, but I have noticed that pushing a stroller with the 3-year-old inside can be a really great core workout, especially uphill.

Hello!!! I’ve missed this blog, and anything else other than nursing and mothering, over the past couple of weeks. It’s good to be back!

A couple of snippets of news. I’d reached around 250 lbs with the pregnancy, but lost around 20 just with the delivery. Approx 7 lbs of baby, some placenta, amniotic fluid, etc. — gone, instantly. Now I’m breastfeeding like crazy and hoping to drop some more poundage. The great thing is that I’ve actually been craving HEALTHY things, unbelievably. Fruits, whole grains, etc. have all been high on my list post-partum, and I’m just totally going with it. Of course, I’ve been eating the odd ice cream (and an occasional frozen yogurt when I go out), so it’s not like I’m on the picture-perfect diet. Still, it’s generally been good and there’s been no real binging. Weighed myself this morning and I’m down another 4 lbs. I think perhaps the nursing has gotten me hyper-aware of the “food as fuel” concept — if I go too long without eating it’s scary the way my body reacts, and so I want to keep it fueled up as effectively and efficiently as possible.

The current fitness plan (to begin in the next couple of weeks) is to do the “Couch to 5K” program, and pick a target 5K to participate in. Was thinking of the Race for the Cure on Sept 14, and still may do that. But my potential training partner (yes! I have one of those now!) will be out of town that weekend — though she’s still up for training with me, anyway. So I need to either settle on that race, or find another that we can both run in. Must scour local race schedule.

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One of the biggest weights on my mind may soon be lightened. We (finally) got an offer on our house, and our counter-offer was accepted. So we are in contract and set to close around July 20. It wasn’t that close to our asking price, but it looks to be fair, given comparables in the area, so we are pleased. The house (and the uncertainty surrounding it) has been sort of draining us dry, what with expenses like trash pick-up, water, electricity, gas, etc. that we’ve been paying for, but not using. Not to mention the mortgage! Anyway, fingers crossed that everything goes smoothly in the next stages of the process, and that we actually close as expected. It’d be fantastic to get that behind us, as we ramp up to doubling our child care expenses when I go back to work.

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What else? Well, things with the little one are really nice, though demanding. He’s eating and gaining weight like a champ. We are also set to go on a big trip for a family wedding in Italy. (Not that we can afford it, but they came to our wedding despite difficult financial circumstances…) So, that’s exciting, but I have nothing to wear! Ok, baby crying so this is a good time to call this post quits. Until next time…

Well, I’ve been a while in getting to post the news here, but, indeed, there is news. Last Thursday, at 10:15 p.m. NYC time, our little baby R. came to be with us. I ended up being induced, rather than going into labor myself. So, I’m still not quite sure if my body knows how to naturally go into labor, but it sure as heck knows how to respond to Pitocin. The entire labor process, including pushing, took just 4 hours. Thankfully, I had the epidural to kill the pain, which was intense. Anyway, I have been remiss in posting here, so I just wanted to jot down an update. More when I’m more free to post.

A book I read last night described birth as one of the most important and transformative experiences in a woman’s life. No wonder, as I stand at the brink, that I’m feeling so emotional and confused and worried and even guilty.

It all goes hand in hand with how I’m feeling physically, which is actually pretty fantastic when you consider how I might be feeling at 38 weeks (ok 37.75 weeks). But, when I stand up, I get the distinct impression that the baby’s head is dropping down into my pelvis, and I waddle. Then, there are the contractions. They come and go — not super-strong but definitely present — which is just enough to panic me (is it time? should I be timng their frequency and duration?) when they’re occurring. When they stop, I feel a mix of relief and disappointment. There’s also this “boy that cried wolf” feeling, when I have told my husband about them. Will he take me as seriously next time, I wonder, if this particular contraction session turns out to be a false alarm?

Then, there’s the baby, who, reassuringly, is as squirmy and wriggly as ever. It’s almost odd how the labor and delivery looms so large, when the real rock-our-world experience will be adding #2 to our family. In these last few days, a new candidate for a name has emerged, ironically from a kids’ TV program. Should this one stick, we’ll have a lot of funny stories about its origins. Whatever his name turns out to be, I’m beginning to feel like he’s welcome to join us anytime. I think all the physical and emotional “tuning up” has gotten me ready, even if I still have tasks to finish here and there. There’s truly a delicate balance between finishing everything up and leaving enough to do to keep me busy and feeling productive. Will keep walking that tightrope, for now.

Still pregnant, and nearly 250 lbs, according to the doctor’s office scale. 1 cm dilated, which doesn’t mean much. Everything seems to be going well. It’s like eerily well, compared to my last 2 pregnancies. Instead of thinking this means that something’s bound to go wrong, I’m instead coasting along on the positivity, and I’m hoping the labor & delivery are equally as smooth.

I’ve always thought my uber-curvy body, my amazing fertility (never had to try more than once, and sometimes didn’t try), and my general monthly regularity meant I was particularly suited to be a mother. But, until this pregnancy, things never came quite as easily as I thought they should. Anyway, it could be any day now, but we still could be looking at several weeks. I suspect that once it starts, it will come quickly. The baby’s head is down already. Last labor (even induced) was only around 6 hours, which is quick — and 2nd babies usually come faster.

So, fingers crossed. If I am not able to check in again before the actual birth, I will be back with an announcement about the arrival. Also, I’ll be looking to step things up, fitness-wise, once I get over the initial survival hump, so this blog will go back to topic. Crank up that treadmill!

My dad has been diagnosed with prostate cancer. Lots of thoughts running through my mind. Seems like it can be a slow-growing cancer, but the treatment option have lots of risks, too. Meanwhile, the new life inside me is… hiccupping. Sometimes life is just surreal.

Well, I didn’t get to actually work out this weekend (illness intruded in the form of a 24-hour bug), but I visited and scoped out two different gyms. One is a local place that’s highly regarded, and another is the area YMCA.

I’m actually leaning toward the YMCA, in part because they have other programs that the family could participate in. But the big question remains: should we join at all?

After all, once the nicer weather comes, I could step out the door and go for a walk, or go to the park. (But there’s no child care so that’s dependent on hubby. Or I’d have to bring them along in the jog-stroller or something.) I could also step in front of the TV and do a killer DVD workout. (But there’s no child care.) Would I actually put the kid(s) in a stroller or whatever and haul them on the subway/bus to get to the gym on a regular basis? Would I feel comfortable leaving them to focus on myself? Do we have the money? How important is this? Hmm…

My husband and I walked through Grand Central Station after this morning’s appointment with the OBGYN, staring up at the starry ceiling and wondering at how everyone but us seemed to have a camera and/or be part of a tour group.

“That was me,” he said, gesturing toward the crowds. He and his older brother started visiting NYC regularly in 1995, and, every time, they’d go to Grand Central, usually hauling along the NY newbie who’d joined their party that particular year. And now, here we were, walking hand-in-hand through the station as NYC residents. Again. Together. Husband and Wife. Parents. About to add another to our brood. He squeezed my hand and his voice shook a little as he told me how sentimental he was feeling, as he pondered everything we’d been through to get us to this point, and everything that lay ahead.

This is why I married the guy. He feels, and feels deeply. And he’s not afraid to show it — at least not to me. He amazes me every day with his wonderful fathering. It’s so amazing to be here, now, with everything that’s going on, and to take a moment to appreciate the wonder of it all.

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Since this is ostensibly a weight loss/fitness/body image blog, I’ll say I weighed in at 235 at the doctor’s office this morning, and I still have 10 weeks of big-time growing to do. Well, hopefully I’m not growing so much, but the baby is now 3 lbs and needs to gain 4 to be the same size as #1 when he was born. We’ve been thinking about joining a gym, but one side of me wonders whether it would be money well spent. Would I actually go? There are tons of other, easier ways of getting exercise, but the gym has child care and gives me a dedicated place where I can focus on my body. It’s also like $60/month which isn’t terrible but is definitely an expense. Hmm… Thoughts?

was walking three long blocks, uphill, in the snow (ok, with snow melting nearby), with a 38 lb 2.5-year-old boy on my shoulders, and an approx. 1.5 lb fetus in my belly.

Really just wanted to say I’m still here, and a lot has been going on. I’m inching toward my due date. We are dealing with a lot of financial matters, including the huge challenge of selling our house in a not-so-great market. We’ve gone sledding — the first time for the boy, and the first time for me (though I didn’t actually sled, due to pregnancy awkwardness.). And each of these sentences could be a blog post of its own — a lot more interesting than this one — but time has definitely been tight lately.

So far, I’ve gained around 12 lbs in this pregnancy, which isn’t terrible. I looked back in the archives and see that, by this point in my last pregnancy, I had gained 19. But I also started out lower, last time. I know I’m eating better this time, generally, and I’m gaining at a slower pace, and I’m walking more. I just desperately want to avoid that super-bloated misery that plagued me late in my last pregnancy. Only 14 more weeks to go. Wow.

I checked out height/weight growth charts for kids my son’s age, and he is (by weight) literally off the charts. And his height (though I don’t know what it is) seems proportional. Wow.