I’ve been trying to come up with some way to describe how I’ve been feeling lately. The ones that seem to come close are: unstable, up-in-the-air, nauseous, and un-hinged. I feel like I’m grasping a piece of wood, floating in the middle of the ocean, trying desperately to hang on while the waves take me up and down, up and down. Yet, somehow — maybe because I’m floating in mother ocean — I am relatively at peace with everything. Except when I am not.
Here’s what I think about these days: I don’t know where I’ll be living in 2 months. (Hopefully, the answer to that mystery will become more clear this weekend, when hubby looks at rentals in a serious way. )Meanwhile, I’m muddling through the business of taking care of our very boisterous son, who seems to be becoming increasingly difficult, maybe partly due to his extended separation from his father. Then, there’s that other little responsibility, the life that is apparently growing inside me and causing lots of nausea — which I can’t talk about to anyone other than my husband (and you). So, I’m forced to go about my business with work, with my son, and with everyone I talk to, pretending to be just fine and normal…. when I feel anything but.
Eating is fine (=mostly healthy & nutritious), and I’ve just gotten back from a run/walk, so I’m trying to keep up the exercise, too. My little feedback note from TBT today actually told me I wasn’t eating enough. (A first!) Well, between nausea and the lingering effects of this cold (no smell = little taste), I’m just not that hungry these days. However, I did eat a pomegranate this morning. Very interesting.
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