Filed under: MyBrain
So, do you think a blog redesign will help me re-focus my efforts on losing weight? Probably not… but it’s fun, and I enjoy toying with the technology.
So, what’s been going on? To be honest, I feel like I’m barely keeping it together… or not keeping it together at all.
This morning, my son’s day care provider took me aside to tell me she was worried about his behavior. He hits, he throws, he disregards everyone else’s feelings. He goes out of his way to shove the other kids when he walks by them. It’s disruptive enough that she has to sit him separately from the others for meals, so he doesn’t shove all of their plates off the table. The saddest part is that she said the other kids don’t want to play with him anymore. She said she knows a therapist that we should possibly consider talking to.
Meanwhile, the house is a wreck. My husband and I are still separated — by a continent if not completely emotionally. My job is stressful (but enjoyable). I have gained –Â not lost — weight. American Express actually cut off our account the other day, because we owe them so much dough. Our bank account is perpetually overdrawn. But that’s really just the negative stuff. Typically, my two coping mechanisms — eating and buying things — only drive me deeper into a hole. There are good things going on, but they are overshadowed by the challenges right now.
I’m struck by two conflicting impulses. One is to stop beating myself up over my weight — so I can simply worry about putting food on the table, rather than trying to cook something healthy. The other is to try and take charge of my health, because it affects how I feel about everything else.
Bah. I’m obviously not getting anywhere with this thinking-aloud blog post, but I wanted to let you know I’m still out here. Really, I am.
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oh pamela, that is so much to have on one plate, i think you’re doing amazing just keeping your head above water. glad to see you writin’ tho! xx
Comment by shauna 05.25.07 @ 8:15 am