Filed under: MyBrain
The boy and I were eating dinner tonight — fettucine alfredo from a "chicken helper" box — and it was all I could do to focus on eating. I kept wanting to open a book, to check out a recipe in a cookbook, or do any possible thing other than simply focus on eating. It’s crazy, and I don’t think I really realized the extent to which I seek mindless eating. I seem to seek out things like books, TV, computers, etc. while I eat, perhaps because they let me mindlessly shove food in my mouth without thinking about it or paying attention to when I am full. This never stopped when I dieted. I just sought other things — lite popcorn, carrot sticks, etc. — to munch on mindlessly. Hmm…
Still, I made it through another night, and, despite the fact that it was fettucine alfredo and super delicious, we have leftovers that actually made it into the refrigerator. I mean I thought a hundred times about just having a little bit more — warming up that delicious pasta and digging in. But, I didn’t. I honestly wasn’t hungry, and it just isn’t going to help me feel better. This is growth, I think. I honestly don’t remember any time in my history when I was so aware of my bad habits, and genuinely sought to create better ones.
I still haven’t made breakfast or lunch a part of this "mindful" eating crusade. But we are broke until payday and the corner store doesn’t take Amex, so at work I’ve been surviving on my stores of soup and granola bars. And I’ve been bringing and eating a fruit snack every day. Anyway, things are getting better, and I’m getting more aware. That’s definitely a good thing.
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