Aargh. I am so frustrated with this pregnancy situation. I weighed in at the doctor yesterday and I came in at 225.5. That means I’ve gained 35 pounds over the course of the pregnancy already, and I’ve still got 6 weeks left to get to 40 weeks. I know it’s my doing, because I really have been eating a lot — and not the right things, either. And now I’ve reached the point where I’m encouraged to relax and keep my feet up a lot (and if I don’t, my feet and ankles swell like crazy), and what’s my idleness activity? Eating, of course.

Stress from buying the house — or trying to buy the house — isn’t helping, either. But the fact is that I need better ways to deal with stress, and I am currently not doing very well at ocming up with alternatives.

We’re about to go to a picnic where we are likely to meet some new people and I’m just cringing, psychologically. I don’t want people I know seeing me like this, much less do I want to be making first impressions on people looking so bulky and awkward. I hardly have any clothes that fit, much less clothes in which I look good.

I really just wanted to go away somewhere with my husband and go for a bit of a walk in some beautiful scenery — goodness knows there are plenty of possible places here in NoCal. But I also feel like I should be trying to be more social because we hardly know anyone. Easy for my husband — HIS life and his body haven’t changed at all since we got married. Meanwhile, I’ve had 2 pregnancies.

Anyway, as is probably obvious, I really just needed to get all these thoughts and feelings off my chest (so I don’t eat!). As I type, I see my hands are already swelling up a bit. I haven’t been able to wear my wedding/engagement rings for weeks now. Have I mentioned I am miserably uncomfortable?

Ok, off to drink lots of water in hopes it helps.

Okay, so it wasn’t always fun… but I did survive Bay to Breakers and am very proud of myself. We walked pretty slowly, and my husband had to carry a chair for me to sit down on every once in a while (pregnancy tends to make the blood pool in the feet), but I made it. Not just to the end, but back another 1.5 miles to the shuttle bus that took us back to the start. That may have been the best part of the day — whizzing back to the start knowing I’d put all 12K behind me, knowing that I’d soon get to put my feet up for a good long time.

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Eating has NOT been going well, but I am going through a very weird stage right now. The growing baby is squishing my stomach and even eating a little bit makes me feel pretty darned terrible. Today I chewed down an entire roll of Rolaids — which really helped quite a bit, thankfully. So I feel yucky and gassy and acidy even if I only eat a little — and on some days I’ve been eating quite a bit.

I’ve been trying to console myself in the idea that I don’t have much longer to go with this pregnancy and then I can start to be myself (and just myself) again. But I’m also trying to take it easy and be as comfortable as possible, because goodness knows when this ordeal will really be over. I guess worst case scenario is something like 8 weeks, since my doctor is sure to induce if I go overdue by two weeks. But 8 weeks of misery is NO FUN. Ok, I’m going to stop dwelling on it now. Hope to check back into this blog as a real weight-loss blog in not too much longer.

I know that I (lamely) haven’t posted lately, but I must say I’m getting excited about Bay To Breakers. I’m a little worried about being able to make it walking 7.46 miles at 33 weeks of pregnancy (after fairly little training), but I think if I just take it slowly and rest a lot, I’ll be fine. Planning to wear some maternity exercise shorts, a t-shirt and a running bra. Also plan to slather myself pretty good with Vaseline to avoid any chafing. I’m trying to recall all my long distance running tricks from back in the day.

Meanwhile, we are working on buying a house, which happens to be (I checked it out) within walking distance from a Weight Watchers meeting location. I am psyched about having this baby and getting serious about losing weight. Breastfeeding will probably help, too. Right now I’m at my all-time lifetime high weight, but I’m feeling okay. If I can avoid focusing on it, and getting myself down, I will be good. Only a few more weeks to go and I’ll be a mother!