Well… I did a pregnancy test this a.m. and… it was positive! (Sssh! This is a secret. I’m not telling hardly anyone until I feel more confident it’s going to “take” and be OK.)

Freaking out a bit now. But setting a 3 pound weight gain for the first trimester as my goal and 15 pounds total which is the recommended for women my weight. Joined that BabyFit.com thing, which lets you log food intake and make sure you’re getting all of the proper nutrients. Seeing a doctor on Monday. Wish me luck!

Interesting piece in The NY Times (free reg) about actors losing and gaining weight for roles. It makes me ill that Renee Zellweger had to gain all this weight for a role in which she looks — to me — simply NORMAL.

Those venerable nutrition watchdogs, the Center for Science in the Public Interest, are lobbying the FDA to force companies to get real about what’s really a single serving size.

It cites some examples in its press release:

24-ounce Coca-Cola. Although Coke is relabeling 16- and 20-ounce bottles of soda, it’s new 24-ounce bottle is clearly intended for one person to drink. (“It’s BIG! For those who thirst for more,” reads the bottle.) The label claims the bottle provides three 100-calorie servings, but many consumers would drink all 300 calories in one sitting.

Safeway Chicken Caesar Salad. Clearly meant for one, this salad comes with one fork. But because the label claims the container has three and a half servings, the nutrition information makes the salad look far healthier than it is. Many label readers might think this salad has 240 calories and 21 grams of fat, when in fact it has 840 calories and 73 grams of fat.

Maruchan Ramen Noodle Soup. This college staple looks small, and the nutrition numbers on the label are for just half the package. The whole package has 400 calories as opposed to 200—and a whopping 1,420 mg of sodium as opposed to 710.

3.5-ounce Chex Mix. This General Mills snack would be a prime candidate for a dual-column Nutrition Facts panel, according to CSPI. The bag is small enough to fit in a vending machine, yet contains 3.5 servings. The bag has 455 calories, not the 130 calories the label lists for a “serving.”

1. Wore some black pants today (Isaac Mizrahi for Target) that I haven’t worn in a while, and while they still don’t fit exactly right, they feel bigger on me than before.

2. Had a cookie in the afternoon, which wasn’t exactly according to plan.

3. Came out of the subway this evening and almost went to go get chicken fingers and seasoned fries. Very tempting when you consider what’s in the house, and the fact that I’m trying not to buy more food given we’re moving soon. I’m also feeling lonely because my husband is really busy and can’t talk to me much. Things are stressful at work for me, too. Anyway, I took a deep breath and turned the other way. A good choice. Yippee!

4. Stepped on the scale this morning and got 188.something, which brings me below the 189 mark, which is fabulous, given I’d had a bit of a backslide while being ill (and since).

I think that’s about it. Still haven’t figured out exactly what I’m eating for dinner tonight but I would imagine corn tortillas and mozzarella cheese will be featured. Still don’t know if I am pregnant or not but am really moderating alcohol and trying to eat super healthy just in case.

Now that there is some slim chance that I might be pregnant — which is screwing up my dieting psychology, I must say — I’m paying attention to stuff like this. A BabyFit.com survey shows 94% of pregnant women are worried about gaining weight when pregnant. Seems to make a lot of sense to me. Not everything changes when sperm meets egg. Coincidentally, BabyFit.com creates fitness and nutrition programs for pregnant women. Hmmm… might check it out. (Yes, I’m sucked in by cheap marketing tricks.)

DietGirl, I think you are channeling my subconscious, as your last two entries have hit right on the nose what I’ve been thinking about. I have such conflicting mixed emotions about food, about my body, about so many things, lately.

Despite a devastatingly terrible dinner last night, I’m honestly not guilt-ridden. I think I can make up for it. But I’m certainly not going to make lighting-fast progress with occasional indulgences like that in my repertoire. Today was better.

My new scale is confusing me, too. There are just too many darned numbers on there. It measures down to something like .2, both in weight and in body fat percentage. So I’m supposed to hold up there in my mind 189.6 lbs, and 41.4% body fat. I think 7 numbers is the maximum humans can hold in their heads and those decimals make it more difficult, I think. Anyway, I think I need a piece of paper to keep by the scale to write things down upon.

Meanwhile, we have embarked, sort of, on “project pregnancy,” in which we decline to use birth control, and then I freakishly worry about (1) gaining weight and (2) not being pregnant, at the same time. Hmm… Can you say mixed feelings?

I’m still sick (unfortunately), but I’ve managed to catch up on DietGirl’s adventures and just read her most recent entry. I totally totally get where you’re coming from, DG. I feel exactly the same way — it’s so difficult to establish a sort of normality, a lack of obsession, and still manage to lose weight (or not gain it). I haven’t figured out what “occasional” is, when it comes to “occasional” indulgences. Is once a week okay? Is every other day okay? Maybe once a month?

I’m dealing with sort of weird-o issues with this long (1 week now) illness I’ve been dealing with. I have loosened my point-counting pretty much entirely. I haven’t been eating that terribly badly, but I certainly haven’t done as well as I would like. So, since this has gone on for so long, do I just go back to counting? It’s harder to get access to as many different types of food when I’m pretty much stuck at home, but… Maybe this won’t be an issue as I am planning to give up on my illness (basically, pretend it isn’t happening) and go back to work tomorrow. I’m just so sick of being sick.

I’ve been down for the count the last few days, fighting off some sort of cold or flu. I’ve still got a little bit of a fever but I feel a lot better today… more human. Even changed the sheets on my bed and am listening to music. Trying to get some things done around the apartment. And am back to counting points again today, too, thankfully. Not much to say at the moment — still a bit drained — but just wanted to raise my hand and prove I’m still alive.

Well, I took yesterday’s SkinnyDailyPost to heart, and set up a whole separate page for me to write down every single thing I put in my mouth, plus points. I have been doing reasonably well, but I can feel myself slipping in some ways — I haven’t been eating my fruits and vegetables, that’s for sure. So, this page’ll be for random musings, and the other will be for a food log.

This is going to sound crazy, but it seems I’m not that hungry today. Here I sit at nearly 1 p.m. and I haven’t even grabbed lunch, which I normally do around noon or 12:30. What is my problem?

I’ve been loving the new scale but need to get used to its increments. My old scale had everything in .5, while this one goes more granular, to .2. Anyway, I seem to be back — after a bit of a crazy weekend — at around the same weight I had marked down on Friday. So, that’s good news. One thing that’s not surprising is that so far every time I have weighed in, my body water level (which I guess equals hydration level) is very low. I don’t think I’ve recovered from traveling this weekend, which always dries me out.

Things are starting to ramp-up toward my move so I’m trying to get as organized as possible in advance, so I don’t end up eating because of disorganization or stress.

This weekend was a study in how not to conduct a trip. I actually missed my flight heading out (stayed too long at work and the traffic was horrid). I had to take a cab, which I hadn’t intended, and still I missed my flight. Cost for the cab? $80.

On the way, it became clear I wasn’t going to make it so I called the airline (Continental) and got re-routed to San Antonio — about an hour’s drive from my destination, instead. That change cost me $50, though I have to say Continental was a pleasure to work with.

The change in destination screwed up my car rental situation. I’d already pre-paid for a great deal on Priceline.com, but there was no changing that rental. Had to start all over with a new rental, which ended up costing me $200, including gas. (Plus I had already paid about $50 for the Priceline.com rental.)

Bottom line: I got there.

Then there was the way back, I showed up a little before 5 p.m. for a 6:30 p.m. flight — or so I thought. “We don’t have a 6:30 flight to Newark,” the airline person told me. “You’re on the 5:15.” Aargh. Even after the disastrous flight over, I hadn’t re-checked my flight time for the return trip. Thankfully, that flight was slightly delayed, so not only did I make it, but my luggage made it, too. Truly amazing.

I don’t know if I’m completely jinxed or completely blessed. After all, I was so close to crashing and burning all weekend, and ended up simply being short a couple of hundred bucks. I started with a free frequent flier miles trip, so it still wasn’t so terrible.

In another amazing development, I didn’t really eat over the stress. I managed to deal with it in a rather poised way, to be honest. I did eat and drink a bit excessively over the weekend, but I also went on two walks, one fairly long one around Town Lake in Austin, and another though Pedernales Falls State Park in the middle of nowhere.

Also, while in Austin, I bought a even higher-tech Tanita Body Fat/Body Water Scale than I had before, as a motivational tool. Also got a heart rate monitor book. So far so good with both of them. I set up the scale last night and it reads body fat and body weight at a more granular (I think .2) level than my old scale. Also, it’s a “family” scale so my husband will be able to use it, too.