Hello!!! I’ve missed this blog, and anything else other than nursing and mothering, over the past couple of weeks. It’s good to be back!

A couple of snippets of news. I’d reached around 250 lbs with the pregnancy, but lost around 20 just with the delivery. Approx 7 lbs of baby, some placenta, amniotic fluid, etc. — gone, instantly. Now I’m breastfeeding like crazy and hoping to drop some more poundage. The great thing is that I’ve actually been craving HEALTHY things, unbelievably. Fruits, whole grains, etc. have all been high on my list post-partum, and I’m just totally going with it. Of course, I’ve been eating the odd ice cream (and an occasional frozen yogurt when I go out), so it’s not like I’m on the picture-perfect diet. Still, it’s generally been good and there’s been no real binging. Weighed myself this morning and I’m down another 4 lbs. I think perhaps the nursing has gotten me hyper-aware of the “food as fuel” concept — if I go too long without eating it’s scary the way my body reacts, and so I want to keep it fueled up as effectively and efficiently as possible.

The current fitness plan (to begin in the next couple of weeks) is to do the “Couch to 5K” program, and pick a target 5K to participate in. Was thinking of the Race for the Cure on Sept 14, and still may do that. But my potential training partner (yes! I have one of those now!) will be out of town that weekend — though she’s still up for training with me, anyway. So I need to either settle on that race, or find another that we can both run in. Must scour local race schedule.

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One of the biggest weights on my mind may soon be lightened. We (finally) got an offer on our house, and our counter-offer was accepted. So we are in contract and set to close around July 20. It wasn’t that close to our asking price, but it looks to be fair, given comparables in the area, so we are pleased. The house (and the uncertainty surrounding it) has been sort of draining us dry, what with expenses like trash pick-up, water, electricity, gas, etc. that we’ve been paying for, but not using. Not to mention the mortgage! Anyway, fingers crossed that everything goes smoothly in the next stages of the process, and that we actually close as expected. It’d be fantastic to get that behind us, as we ramp up to doubling our child care expenses when I go back to work.

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What else? Well, things with the little one are really nice, though demanding. He’s eating and gaining weight like a champ. We are also set to go on a big trip for a family wedding in Italy. (Not that we can afford it, but they came to our wedding despite difficult financial circumstances…) So, that’s exciting, but I have nothing to wear! Ok, baby crying so this is a good time to call this post quits. Until next time…

Well, I’ve been a while in getting to post the news here, but, indeed, there is news. Last Thursday, at 10:15 p.m. NYC time, our little baby R. came to be with us. I ended up being induced, rather than going into labor myself. So, I’m still not quite sure if my body knows how to naturally go into labor, but it sure as heck knows how to respond to Pitocin. The entire labor process, including pushing, took just 4 hours. Thankfully, I had the epidural to kill the pain, which was intense. Anyway, I have been remiss in posting here, so I just wanted to jot down an update. More when I’m more free to post.

and still pregnant, 40 weeks and 1 day into the pregnancy. *Sigh* I go to the doctor on Thursday, if nothing has happened by then, and I guess we would talk induction at that point. Here’s hoping my body kicks into gear between now and then. I’d love to believe it “knows” when it’s time to start labor, and I’d love for that time to be soon!

A book I read last night described birth as one of the most important and transformative experiences in a woman’s life. No wonder, as I stand at the brink, that I’m feeling so emotional and confused and worried and even guilty.

It all goes hand in hand with how I’m feeling physically, which is actually pretty fantastic when you consider how I might be feeling at 38 weeks (ok 37.75 weeks). But, when I stand up, I get the distinct impression that the baby’s head is dropping down into my pelvis, and I waddle. Then, there are the contractions. They come and go — not super-strong but definitely present — which is just enough to panic me (is it time? should I be timng their frequency and duration?) when they’re occurring. When they stop, I feel a mix of relief and disappointment. There’s also this “boy that cried wolf” feeling, when I have told my husband about them. Will he take me as seriously next time, I wonder, if this particular contraction session turns out to be a false alarm?

Then, there’s the baby, who, reassuringly, is as squirmy and wriggly as ever. It’s almost odd how the labor and delivery looms so large, when the real rock-our-world experience will be adding #2 to our family. In these last few days, a new candidate for a name has emerged, ironically from a kids’ TV program. Should this one stick, we’ll have a lot of funny stories about its origins. Whatever his name turns out to be, I’m beginning to feel like he’s welcome to join us anytime. I think all the physical and emotional “tuning up” has gotten me ready, even if I still have tasks to finish here and there. There’s truly a delicate balance between finishing everything up and leaving enough to do to keep me busy and feeling productive. Will keep walking that tightrope, for now.

Still pregnant, and nearly 250 lbs, according to the doctor’s office scale. 1 cm dilated, which doesn’t mean much. Everything seems to be going well. It’s like eerily well, compared to my last 2 pregnancies. Instead of thinking this means that something’s bound to go wrong, I’m instead coasting along on the positivity, and I’m hoping the labor & delivery are equally as smooth.

I’ve always thought my uber-curvy body, my amazing fertility (never had to try more than once, and sometimes didn’t try), and my general monthly regularity meant I was particularly suited to be a mother. But, until this pregnancy, things never came quite as easily as I thought they should. Anyway, it could be any day now, but we still could be looking at several weeks. I suspect that once it starts, it will come quickly. The baby’s head is down already. Last labor (even induced) was only around 6 hours, which is quick — and 2nd babies usually come faster.

So, fingers crossed. If I am not able to check in again before the actual birth, I will be back with an announcement about the arrival. Also, I’ll be looking to step things up, fitness-wise, once I get over the initial survival hump, so this blog will go back to topic. Crank up that treadmill!

As my earlier-chronicled body woes have mounted, I’ve been giving serious thought to asking to work from home every day. It would save me from getting dressed in nicer-looking but fairly-constricting clothing. It would save me from tramping up and down stairs and sweating in crowded subways. And it would save me an hour to an hour-and-a-half of time wasted going back and forth to the office.

But… it would also mean I’d be at home alone all day — isolated and probably lonely. I might feel out of the loop at work, even more than I already do. I wouldn’t get the exercise of walking through my commute. I’d live in yoga pants and the like, which might get me down about my appearance. I’d also potentially feel like a bit of a failure, since my ever-expanding body would be keeping me confined to my home, essentially.

On the other hand, this is temporary. I’m 8 months pregnant, and I need to take it easy on myself. It’s cheaper to stay at home, too, as I’d save the commuting dollars and the expenses of eating out. I don’t interact much with the folks in my office, anyway — most of my work gets done over e-mail, or IM, or the phone.

Aargh. I really don’t know. I am already working from home 2x a week. Maybe I’ll just continue with this “wait and see” attitude until I get too miserable to continue the commute. As you can tell, I’m torn. I’m not ready to surrender to the pregnancy yet — though it will definitely happen, even if it’s at the moment I go into labor. I’m too invested in my job and I want to remain relevant as long as possible. Then again, why not go ahead and work from home, or take advantage of the opportunity and go out on (mostly-paid) maternity leave before the actual labor begins, so I’ll have a few days to relax? Hmmm…

* Don’t even want to weigh myself anymore, because I’m well over where I’d hoped I’d be. Definitely 240+

* Can hardly bend over to tie my shoes. Thank goodness for slip-ons.

* Am struggling up stairs and then having to catch my breath at the top.

* I’m up 3-4X a night to pee, and can only ever sleep on one side or another — if I can sleep.

* Painful leg cramps in my calves are also keeping me awake, and they struck this morning on my commute, as well.

Generally speaking, I’m miserable, body-wise. I just want my own body back to myself. That’s a bit much to hope for, I think, as the baby, and the boy, will still demand quite a bit of me, physically, for quite some time. But at least I’d be able to get a few minutes to myself, occasionally. Thinking about trying Couch to 5K, and picking a race for the fall. (Totally bummed that the Danskin Women’s Tri is sold out in this area.)

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UPDATE: I finally did weigh myself and I actually came in at 238, so it’s not as bad as I feared. Still, I have to use “Body Glide” on my legs to keep from chafing, my husband had to tie my shoes this morning, and there are times I can barely wipe my own butt. It’s not a pretty thing.

My dad has been diagnosed with prostate cancer. Lots of thoughts running through my mind. Seems like it can be a slow-growing cancer, but the treatment option have lots of risks, too. Meanwhile, the new life inside me is… hiccupping. Sometimes life is just surreal.

It says a lot about this new meal plan that I’m looking forward to leftovers for lunch, preferring whats in my lunchbox to anything I could buy fresh around here. And my packed meal is probably healthier than anything else I would eat, too.

So far, the dinners have taken a lot of time and energy to prepare — that’s the big downside — but they have both been big hits with the family. I’ve also probably started with the most ambitious and time-consuming of dishes, so I expect others to be faster and easier. Another observation: they make a mountain of food. It’s really too much for our little family. But the recipes so far have been freeze-able, and they also yield leftovers for lunch the next day. I have a feeling I’ll be very thankful for those frozen dinners someday soon, when I’m caring for a newborn as well as a preschooler.

On weekdays, I often pick up my son from day care solo, and, by the time we amble home, he’s outrageously hungry. I know this because he begs for inappropriate things. “Candy,” he demands, or “lollypop,” he growls.

My job is to — as quickly as possible — cook something up that’s healthy, nourishing, tasty and satisfying, and… did I mention quick-to-prepare? Because while he’s screaming “lollypop” (and I’m saying “no”), he’s also saying things like “uppy mommy” (translation: pick me up) and “play me” (play with me). So it’s not like there’s this big leisurely window of opportunity.

An hour or so before this moment of panic, on the way home on the train, I scan my brain, and mentally scan the cupboards, for ideas of what I can prepare. There’s no time to go to the store before I pick him up, and taking him to the store in his hungry state is a recipe for disaster. And the food isn’t just for him, either. It’s also for me, and also for my husband. I refuse to be the kind of mom who prepares two entirely separate meals — one for the kids and one for the adults. For one thing, it just seems like too darned much work.

What I’ve been longing for, or longing to produce, is a meal plan. I’ve wanted to — in the style of school cafeterias — develop “meatloaf night” or “quiche night” or that kind of thing. Then, I can shop once a week, and know exactly what’s in store every night. I won’t have to stress about it on the way home; I won’t have to worry about whether I have groceries in stock; and I can make sure things are more healthy and complete.

Well, recently, I found an online service that seems to do a lot of the work for me. It’s by the author of The Six O’Clock Scramble, a family-oriented cookbook that I’m a fan of. The basic idea is that, every Wednesday, I receive an e-mail that links me to the customizeable menu for the week (dinners only). That, in turn, links to a PDF of all of the recipes, with side dishes, and with a shopping list. The recipes are healthy, but not crazy-spa-style healthy. You know what I mean… no broiled chicken with salsa, and that kind of thing. The idea is to actually feed a family, including potentially picky eaters.

It’s actually a huge commitment, to buy all this food at once and expect that I’ll prepare it, without wasting too much. But, I’m doing it, and I think it will be a really great thing for us all. I’m starting tonight, which is, interestingly enough, meatloaf night. I’m psyched, and currently just waiting for the boys to get home and eat. Everything smells delicious. Fingers crossed.